Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Went to play soccer with lixuan, tzer, brenda and wan qing todae. Then got this guy can and ask us if we wanna join competition cuz he said he stalked us and he tot we played kinda well. Hahax.. Everyone say we'll consider but actually we didn't. Hahax.
The sun is freakingly HOT. OMG,. I thought i'll get heat stroke if i stayed another minute longer. But the game was pretty fun thou i cant really kick that well. Hahax. And tzer they all are funny in a lame way! I fell during the game since we were playing on concrete floor and i slipped on wet sand. But it didn't hurt even when wanqing poured water on the wound to wash it. It's only after the game then i sensed the pain. But it's healing pretty fast! Hee...
We played at LX's hse E whole afternoon. It was fun! From tennis and badminton in the living room to comp and piano. Hahax. Then we ordered the jin zhen tou. It tasted fabulous. Hahax. I'm sure to eat it again! The bread taste so sweet! But cannot eat too much at one go if not will get tired of it very easily.
Today is such a fun day!
I dunno why i felt such peace.. But it felt so good..
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 9:00 PM!
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Felt so refreshed after a bath! hahax. Just now went back to sch with doris they all to take pictures. Then played basketball with kong yong for awhile. We found E ball at E canteen. Hahax. And it's kinda deflated a little le. Then wei yao joined in then padey and jasmine and doris. SO FUN! Then i was perspiring like hell. Doris really good at shooting and kong yong very cute lorx! Padey and wei yao very cool! Jasmine and me like throwing the ball over the hoop to one another. Hahax.
Before that, me and kat(wrong spelling?) went to doris's hse to watch "take the lead"! It was so cool~ So sexy~ So hot~ I wanna learn tango! Hahax.. And salsa! OMG! Hahax. And doris was like playing ard with her CSS uniform. Hahax.. I ate some choc cake and ice cream at doris's. The cake was very hard! Hahax.. And chocolatey. Hahax. But i like it! Hahax.. But it's kinda sweet.
I love my section! Must jia you, ok?! Hahax.. They are so sweet. I believe with practice, they'll be brilliant. Be a perfectionist when it comes to band! I'm looking forward to band camp!
After playing bball, we went to E bubble tea shop and bought food! Hahax. I missed the kind of feeling... I love the band.. So so much.. Although it does bring back happy memories which pained me since they'll never exist anymore... Anyway, i'm gonna treasure my section.. *muackies*
happy bdae dolly! She's so cute!
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 8:21 PM!
Friday, November 24, 2006
If i had super memory, i went to doris house on wednesday to jog and install CD! She had to meet a fren later in the afternoon so i got to see her fren. He's called abel and he's nice. A gentleman i guess. He's really sweet to doris. Hahax.. Doris say all NJC guys are like that. Then we went to play arcade. SO FUN! Hahax. Then we went to the library!!
E next day, i went to doris's hse again to do my nails. SHE'S A REALLY GOOD MANICURIST. Hahax.. The nails turn out good! And after that, i went to janani's house along with nasihah, dina and sarah. Janani's mum drove us to the prom and the prom was awesome. Although i got a little uncomfortable at first but sarah sensed it and really helped me overcome the fear. THANKX! The food was ok but some dishes tasted kinda weird. And i ate a bell chilli! IT WAS SO GROSS. I spit it out right away! Me and sarah shared our food. Hahax. There's this guy who's an alumni and he can sing really well. think he can sign up for singapore idol! He can dance too! I loved their dance item! The prom king and queen this year was fabulous too! Though i thought wendy wen would win. Hahax. But i guess wendy huang is too elegant that night! Hahax.. But anyway, the prom king and queen selection was awesome. I took tons of photos and all~! E sad thing was i was pretty umcomfortable E whole night since my dress was too tight at the top. Hahax..
Today went back to CSS to watch sectionals. I MISSED MY SECTION! A WHOLE LOT. Though i cant play as well as i used to, i am sure i can pick it all up during the band camp. I loved MERRY WIDOW! Hahax. And i love my section more and more.. sobx!
Actually, i wouldn't have thought of the sad past if someone hadn't asked me why i didn't come with that senior. That broke my heart. Terrible.. So we were actually seen as one instead of two diff ppl who are apart. Haix.. But anyway, it's all over, no use brooding over it.
lead a happy life~
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 7:57 PM!
Monday, November 20, 2006
I love KO one!!! OMG.. I's like so cool. I love Da Dong! He's like so cute and cool lorx!
So i did a lot of things after my o levels!!! On fri, went to westmall with lixuan and tzer to borrow library magazines! Hahax.. I finish em le!
on saturade, i went shopping with janani, sarah, shayidah(wrong spelling?) and amira. It was so cool~ I bought a purple silvery satin prom dress. Love it~! Hahahax.. Then we were like laming around. Hahax.. And we're going to shop again tml!!! At night, my dad brought me to buy HP!! Hahax.. Have new hp le! But cannot say E model.. Hmmm.. Secret ne~!
Them on sunday, i went bac to malaysia with my dad. SO COOL~ He took me to E markeplace. There's a lot of maggots on E floor. And they're jumping! OMG. GROSS!! And the smell is so horrible! I cut my hair at malaysia. SO COOL! But i think it's a bit too short le. Haix. But it's ok. Doris found a way to make it look good with my prom dress anyway. THANKX!
Today went shopping with doris. Met xin er and her frenx at taka... Anyway, we went around searching for cosmetics. SO FUN! Hahax.. I didn't noe going out with her can be so fun! Wait til i upload E pics! Hahax.. And we ate frozen strawberries!! OMG. So nice! I'm eating them again!Anyway, had such a tired and enjoyable day!!! Hehex.. Must take a rest le~ Tata~
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 9:05 PM!
Thursday, November 16, 2006
One more day to end of o levels and 2 more days to a new handphone!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
But i cant study!!! SO TIRED!!!! Haix.. Maybe sleep early tonight? But i'm so afraid of dreaming.. Good dreams will end up sad when i wake up. Sad dreams will make me sad. And bad dreams will make me missed the times when i always called after i woke up in the middle of the night. *shake head* It's horrible. So horrible i thought i will puke. So where's my courage and will power? WAKE UP GAL!!!
My knee's gonna break some day.. Today it got hurt again. And my knee is hurting so much! Not good. But it's as though my mum can sense i'm in pain or something. When i got home, there's a bottle of supplements for ligiment (wrong spelling?). And she even bought a kind of medicated cream for me to apply. So i shall try em!!! I love the cream! Got a warm sensation after applying de. Hahax..
I wanna go escape!! Yay! Think it's gonna be fun? Hehex.. After o levels bax!
ONE MORE DAY!!! hahaha
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 8:26 PM!
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
I WAS SHOCKED!!! Luteinising hormone stimulates the production of testosterone.. -_-" Can gals have their own hormones? Why do they share it with boys?! Shocking!!! Ok.. i'm over doing this.
Today is a bright and sunny morning. I've decided to drink milk cause i didn't sleep well again last night, as usual. Is there ever a way to make people sleep better so they won't toss and turn.. So disturbing..
ok.. There like 3 more days to total freedom. Including today. But i don't think i can hold on that long le!!! Felt like playing already. But must persist or i'll regret. So jia you jia you jia you!!!
okiex then.. Don't crap le. Time to play online games. Hahax.
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 8:29 AM!
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Perhaps i was in the wrong.. Perhaps i shouldn't have been more mindful.. And it was my fault all along.. I guess some things just have to be learnt.. But will i ever get a second chance? I guess that's how i learnt to be a better person in live. Cause no one is born with a conscience.. Everyone seeks one.. So perhaps i should be a better person and stop having negative thoughts. Afterall, there are worst people out there...
And the best thing is i have o levels to distract me now. =] Without my o levels, i would have died. THANK YOU O LEVELS!!!
Happy birthday DORIS!
And to someone else, i'm sorry...
And to another someone else (if he's reading this), sorry for being harsh yesterday.. I noe he was trying to help but i was fuming..
I'll watch more fruit basket! Meep. And shun everything that's gonna hurt me now. I'll deal with those parts later. When i'm stronger and not so vulnerable. Yippee to success!~
I missed you 2 so much and i fear i'll never see you again.. Or perhaps i shall organise a secret meeting after my o levels.. Hmmm..
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 11:43 AM!
Saturday, November 11, 2006
It's insecurity and confusion that made me wanna ask it. I noe running away from it won't help.. And i need to noe so i asked.. But what i didn't expect was that i can actually irritate someone in the process.. I was so hurt and shocked when i heard it that i cannot speak. I'm afraid if i speak, i'll start crying. So i kept quiet. And perhaps that is wrong too. Perhaps i shouldn't have asked.. Perhaps i shouldn't have cleared my doubts at all. It made me feel so dumb for asking something i never know. I hated the problem. I AM dealing with it.. But i thought a little support and understanding could be good.. Afterall, i'm just confused.. And i needed a whole lot of comfort then..
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 1:44 PM!
Friday, November 10, 2006
TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAE! AND IT'S OK!!! hahax.. I thought it's gonna be bad.. But it's ok. Nice in fact. At least people remember it. Hahax... And my sis bought me a pair of earrings. My younger sis gave me $5... Hahax.. Cuz she cannot go out and buy.
After the paper, liying, gina and me go eat pepper lunch. They treat me. I first time eat lorx! So nice!!! Hahax.. I ordered the salmon one.. Hahax. Very nice. And i love the miso soup too! It's a bit like fried rice lorx. And i add too much pepper!
The gina was like telling jokes. Hahax.. Dirty jokes and lame one. I noe two dirty jokes about musicians lehx. Hahax..
Actually suppose to go play with goo de. The one where you put coloured goo on shapes and bake em so they become hard. Those kids plae de. But dunno why liying and gina backed out at the las min. Hahax..
Saw liwee and her mum at IMM.. I was so busy toking to liwee i forgot to greet her mum.. SHIT. And when i realise, it was too late.. haix.. SORRY SORRY!
gtg.. I love my bdae!!!
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 9:29 PM!
Thursday, November 09, 2006
I wished i wished i wished for a dinner and for people to remember what day is it tomorrow.. But i don't think it is going to come true.. My birthday seemed so insignificant. And when i told someone about it, that someone said, "Then that's your problem." Perhaps it is really my problem.. I don't wanna care but somehow, it's bugging me all the same.. So what will happen if no one remembers? So what will happen if i have to get over it alone? What happens if people cook up all sorts of excuses cuz they hate me? What if...?
Perhaps i should just go home after my paper tomorrow and stop wishing that i can have a simple dinner with frenx.
The more i say, the more demoralising this is.. Shit...
Ok.. geog and bio was like hellish.. Not really that hellish but i couldn't sae i could breeze through it either. Crap.. I thought o levels was suppose to be easy? Nahx~ Learnt that the hard way.
Just now on the way to &-! with gina, liying and shi quan, we saw this wrigglt earthworm. DAMN GROSS, K?! I was so grossed out.. But not terrified lahx cuz i can squash it since it's so small.. But liying and shiquan like damn scared. -_-" And i realise liying's afraid of insects! COOL~ And her bdae is coming.. Hmmmm...
I wan pizza! Or pasta! Or ANYTHING! Haix.. I wan dinner.. Bye.
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 6:56 PM!
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Yesterday, i was griefing so much i had a night mare.. A little girl was chasing me with a knife in her hands. And she kept wanting to kill me with it. She had already slashed my face three times with it.. I tried running away from her.. But no many how i ran down, i cant get to the first level. And i can remember her gong to the same sch as me and she was trying to find me in a worksite. I remembered the green nettings.. But it was deserted.. Haix..
I felt so unwanted.. Very unwanted in fact.. All i wan is for the tortures to stop...
The english paper was ok... And i ate meaty noodles just now with liying and gina. But i hate the taste of pig liver!!! EEEEEEEEEwwwwwwwww..
must stop feeling upset
haix...
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 2:20 PM!
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
I know i have no rights.. I nknow i had no say.. But i'm feeling down all the same.. This suckx.. I don't even know why i got so emotional.. I accidently saw the book which contained those wonderful memories.. Everything had changed so much.. I shouldn't live in the past anymore, should i? But still, i feel a hint of sadness... I wanna feel things the old way.. When everything was wonderful.. When kindness and consideration was there..
A surprise was even rejected.. It hurt me badly.. it felt as though i was not wanted.. No matter how much i wanna know the whereabouts, i never dared to ask out loud.. But i know if i'm not told, something bad is happening.. But i can only stare helplessly...
Must cure my emo-ness soon...
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 5:10 PM!
Sunday, November 05, 2006
I am washing my hands off my stupid handphone which keeps shutting down on me! The battery is crazy! Suddenly, there's only a little battery left and the next second, the battery's full.. -_-" It's driving me nuts! And he keeps turning off. And there's always error when i tried to send messages.. I'm so damn irritated. I'm gonna get a phone! But i have to wait til febuary next year.. Til my plan expires.. Oh GoD.. Think by that time, the phone will totally stop functioning at all cost.. *pray pray pray*
STOP TAKING ME ON A ROLLER COASTER RIDE! It's not like i've not cried enough or suffered enough or tortured enough. STOP PLAYING WITH MY FEELINGS! You do that again, i'm so gonna beat the crap out of you. You don't tell the person how much you miss the person and later claimed that you actually liked another person more, right? Trying to hurt? Try again. I'm not gonna take the bait again. Once bitten, twice shy. I have this hard crab shield covered all over my body. I'm NOT gonna let myself be deceived again. Watch it.. My defences are up so you better think twice about hurting me again.GRRR...
Stayed up late last night to study social studies.. This morning had a bad headache.. So drank a bottle of chicken essence.. Yummy! I love that stuff!!! I love chicken! Later i'm gonna eat chicken rice AGAIN! I'm a big chicken fan!! *cluck cluck*
Must go study the horrible social studies now. Tata~
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 10:23 AM!
Saturday, November 04, 2006
last night, i dreamt of shin goon again! But i woke up at 3am feeling nauseated and dizzy.. So creepy.. Last time someone told me that 3am is the most scary time of a day cuz spirits are strongest at this point in time.. The i could not get back to sleep because the pills i take will cause incomnia.. So i messaged someone and ended up wetting my pillow case.. I was feeling alright de.. But somehow,the more i say, the more i cry.. So perhaps i should start saying le.. Afterall, there's a saying: no man is ever worth a woman's tears.. But yet, i can't help it sometimes..
Perhaps it had all been a beautiful dream.. Perhaps all those are lies... Who knows? I guess i'll find out after my o levels. Afterall, this is not the time to be crying myself to sleep and wishing i do not have to take the examinations, right?
Way to go!
Gotta study social studies though i am kind of sure i won't do very well for it. =[ Time to dig out my lorms and see what i can do about it.. But i think i better forcus on my E math. Afterall, that's the subject i wanna count in.
After o levels, i will make sure i play til i die.. or perhaps, cry til i die.. wadever..
And it's so creepy.. My inner self is talking to me again! Last time when i was younger, it kept talking to me.. But it had gone for sometime.. Now it had came back again. Oh no! Am i too stressed for my own good?
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 1:36 PM!
Friday, November 03, 2006
I think my illness worsened.. felt so restless and tired.. And my nose is stuffed with mucus and all.. Yuck.. Cant even breathe and taste properly.. Hope this cold won't last very long.. Or i'll turn desparate.. *shake head*
Felt so hurt.. So cheated.. I felt as though i've never been loved and all along, i've been used as a tool and a toy.. I can't believe i'm lied to.. And was even blamed for the sufferings.. So it's my fault that i don't have security? So it's my fault for trusting the lies? So it's my fault? i felt so lost.. I realised that all along, i've been the one who is supporting the love.. The one who have been giving in to fights.. Because i was never loved.
It felt so wrong.. So wrong..
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 8:14 PM!
So i'm sick today.. Had a cold and have a bad sore throat.. Then had to go and see the doctor alone.. Haix... Not that i was too sick to walk there or anything but i hate to go to the doc alone.. Afterall, i'm sick. But mum is too busy.. Haix.
The doctor really took a very long time.. No one knows what is he doing inside lorx.. Made me wait for so long. I was the 13th patient and he was already attending to the 11th person. I had to wait for an hour lorx! Sick.. And i let an old man go in b4 me cuz he said he wanted to go fetch his grandson. Then i see him old so let him in first. But he took another 20 min... By the time i was like boiling. And when i got in, i only took 5 minutes. -_-" Really dunno what they asking inside.. Can take so long de...
I kept eating! Oh dear.. But no choice.. Cant help it.. Mum keep making things for me to eat lorx.. I'm stuffed. And when i went to get a nap, i was so full! Now stll haven't digest yet.. Haix.. Bloated... With porridge.. Yuck! I hate porridge..
still gotta go study.. *shake head*
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 3:30 PM!
Thursday, November 02, 2006
I felt lost and empty.. I've been doing tons of housework, trying to numb myself. Then i watched goong MTVs to make me forget. I even finished all the sewing work in the house, just to make myself forget the truth that will always exist in my heart...
My english teacher once asked me to write a compo "happiness". I wrote something bout a girl seeking revenge by creating discord between her ex and his new stead. And when she succeeded, she was not happy. He commented that it would have been better if wrote the essay in 3 parts. The first part is how happy i am with my stead. The second part is how upset i felt without him. And the third part is how i regained my happiness without him.. I have finished my first and second part of my essay.. But i cant start on my third at all..
Happiness, come find me?
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 9:35 PM!
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
I wished i can die..
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 9:29 PM!
