Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Time to make me feel all better.. Yes.. I'm feeling horrible again.. I'm happy the past few days. But now, i've sunk to the bottom of the valley of hopelessness again.. I hate myself.. I hate myself for being possessive.. I hate myself for being disturbing.. But i cant help it.. I really cant.. I can no longer control myself.. And there i am again, getting myself a lot of bruises, cuts and scratches.. Once again, my heart ached.. And once again, i worried..
Some people said love is blind. But i feel that it's crazy.. And as a matter of fact, i'm insane.. It's not worth it.. But still...
The moment when i heard the words "I like you very much", I melted and i was overcome with joy.. I was so happy that i've finally gotten a space in the heart.. And when i heard the words "I thought of you", I got more happy.. I thought this was the beginning.. But when it turned out to be the ending, i cried..
The more i don't wanna tink of it, the more i dreamt of it.. I dreamt of the happy times. I dreamt of the love we once shared.. And when i woke up, i cant help but think of it all. The happiness, the smiles, the strong feelings we once had.. I couldn't take it anymore.. And i don't know why i went back.. But i know i'm hurt.. Badly..
I wan a shoulder to cry on.. But i held on to my tears.. Now i felt so suffocated. thought my brain will be cut off its supply of oxygen and i'll drift away like the wind..
I felt so lost. So horrible.. And i know i shouldn't be at this point in time.. But i cannot help it anymore.. I feel so dizzy..
And i fear what the fortune teller said will come true.. I fear.. That's why i wanna be there.. And i'm terribly sorry for acting that way.. But i don't even tink i'll be forgiven..
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 11:37 AM!
