Tuesday, October 31, 2006
I watched SMILE pasta episode 16 le! Ok... It's kinda nice..
Think today my luck not very good.. I had headache and stomach ache in the morning. And during the titration, i mixed but the 2 conical flask and had to do them all over again cuz i added a few drops of solution Q in one of the flask le.. The my VA calculation wrong. And i'm like one of the few who used solution R lorx! Ok.. Solution S was obvious but solution R was like weird weird de.. But i suspect is chloride cuz can smell chlorine gas.. Should be ok bax. Never use solution S doesn't mean it's wrong mahx, right? Right. (self-reassuring)
Was on my way to the 180 bus stop when i saw Mr tan.. Ok.. I was in shock but he seemed friendly enough and he ask me to work hard for my O levels. I WILL~!
Maybe i should go eat pepper lunch after my o levels. I've never eaten a set meal before.. I only ate the "shake shake" thingy before.. Hmmm... But today's lunch was pretty nice~ Except that i under-cooked the maggi mee and it was rather hard. Hahax.. Must brush up on my cutlery skills le..
Last night my mum swapped her bed with me cuz my bed's spring got problem.. Then her bed is VERY hard.. OMG.. Then i woke up with headache.. luckily, she swapped it back today! Hahax.. Yeah! Hope can have a good night's rest tonight. Everyone, sleep early, k?
Today i realised that huishin they all are a very fun group of gals! The way the played in the toilet was hilarious.. Hahax..
Okiex~ Gotta go le~ Muackies!
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 4:30 PM!
Monday, October 30, 2006
Today is higher chinese paper. The paper 1 kinda weird but the paper 2 is simpler than the normal practices we got from the teacher.. Hahax.. Hope can really do well.. Hmmm.. Pray pray pray. But the paper one i no time check dict.. So a lot of words i use han yu ping yin.. Hope they won't minus that much marks.. God bless me please..
Just now went to crystal jade eat xiao long bao and la mian with lixuan. Yummy!!! Hahax.. When i eat xiao long bao i tink of wan qing cuz she cannot eat it! Muahahax.. Ok lahx.. It taste really awesome.. Yummy yummy. But kinda expensive.. Heart pain.. But jiu jiu yi ci.. Next time go eat xiao long bao with my other frenz! Hahax..
Must jia you for o levels le.. Still got tuition later.. Sobx... Okiex.. Think it's time to go. Tata~
why are some people just so smart?! Must be the genes.. Stupid chromatin in the nucleus. *arbish*
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 4:34 PM!
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Had such a sweet dream yesterday!!! I dreamt of shin goon! He's very sweet lorx.. And he's within touching range, not on stage or anything but beside me. I woke up feeling so happy. Hahax.. He look very cool hor? I like it when he smile and when he don't smile. Hahax.
This morning so hot, make my temper very bad.. Plus i have to go for a tuition which is not very productive.. Make me so upset.. But i went anyway.. Hahax...
Just now my dad showed me a news paper artcle. Two lower sec students were making out in the playground and someone took a lot of photos on it. Hahax.. And it's very funny lorx! The guy was like massaging the gal. Hahax.. Damn funny!!! But my mum was like saying "a lot of students now do this" -_-" But honestly, a playgroud?! On the slide?! In broad daylight?! OMG.. If really wan also not do there, right?! Also, there are people there lorx! Hahax.. And the massaging part... HAHAHAHA.
I think i'm growing fatter and fatter.. Oh no.. I DON'T exercise and i eat a lot.. Haix.. Must keep fit after my exams le.. I don't wanna be obese!!! And my face!!! Got pimple outbreak.. Must take care of it le... To do well, i must feel well. To feel well, i must look acceptable. Hahax..
Go eat le. Cheerx!
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 5:54 PM!
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Ok.. I'm studying again.. And i drew up a time table for myself! Hope i can study more efficiently from now on. Must have discipline!~
Actually, i look forward to after o levels cuz i can do a lot of things like shopping with frenz, going swimming with liying everyday, watching lots of sappy korean dramas, painting my room, try to match all the clothes in my wardrobe.. I love fashion!!! I wanna be a fashion designer.. And i don't wanna wear the same clothes everytime!!! Hmmm.. How i wished i have a sewing machine? Hahax.. Then maybe can make my own clothes! But must lear how to make clothes first lahx.. Hahax..
Study study study. Must jia you le.. So little time, so many task to finish.. What a hectic day...
My sister go ad but the goong audio CD.. There's lyrics available but all in korean!!! How am i suppose to read them?!!! *shake head* Cant they print in in english? Then at least can try to sing along mahx. Hahax.. But must now concentrate on studies lahx.
EVERYONE, JIA YOU NE~! Work towards o levels!!! Heeh..
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 5:55 PM!
Friday, October 27, 2006
Today so tiring.. I went to school again and i do not get to see my cher again! Haix.. Wasted trip for 2 days in a row! Haix.. But i met Mr Ng at lakeside MRT station so he can mark my 2 pages plus essay. This is the first time i wrote such a long essay. And i think i got improve? A little? Heh heh.
Cant stuff bio notes into my brain le. Waaah. Tomorrow, i'm gonna lock myself in my room until i swallowed the 4 remaining chapters of my biology. Then i'll do a second browse-through after another 5 days so i can remember. Hahax.. And i still need to practise my math and stuff. And my combine humans! Ok.. i'm not gonna focus that much on CH.. Cause i think i cannot make it. And i still got chemistry to do... Haix.. *shake head*
Today kinda fun. Talked a lot of C. Honestly, i still tink if C can refrain from being mad at me for a day, it'll be a miracle. But i'm still kinda confused and upset..
I must work hard le!!! Must work very very hard!!! I miss band.. A whole lot..
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 9:31 PM!
Thursday, October 26, 2006
I was searching for my stupid entry proof when i stumbled across some band pictures and saw THE face.. THE face seemed so happy, so innocent, and so unliked now.. Who would have thought that such a sweet person can now threaten to call the police? My heart ached... So where's my sweet face? It is as though my sweet images have all evaporised.. And i'm filled with the cruelty and sadness of this whole gruesome event. All i can see are frowns, anger and unconditioned hatred.. Where did the sweet memories go? The time when THE person attempted to grab my hand at pan pacific, the one who took me to seoul garden and film how i eat, the one who brought me flowers on valentine's day... Where is THE person? Evaporised? Gone? Gone.
I hugged my tatty to sleep, the only darling which evoked my sweet memories. It felt warm and i thought it was alive! But anyway, if it was, i would be happy. But come to think of it, it is so hard to fit all the organs into it. imagine the blood vessels i have to fit in it. And to supply it with lungs and heart and the digestive system.. And i still gotta cut nostrils for it and a mouth!
Okie.. I'm going biology crazy.. I've been studying biology for 4 days? Gotta go study again.. Tata...
Must thank wan qing for hearing me wail yesterday.. It was embarrassing! But honestly, i cant believe i wailed.. And i was caught in the act by my neighbour. Hahax.. He's in the same school as i am.
Gotta go study, watch "yue guang shen bei" and eat dinner le. Tata..
Where did my beloved go?
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 6:31 PM!
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Time to make me feel all better.. Yes.. I'm feeling horrible again.. I'm happy the past few days. But now, i've sunk to the bottom of the valley of hopelessness again.. I hate myself.. I hate myself for being possessive.. I hate myself for being disturbing.. But i cant help it.. I really cant.. I can no longer control myself.. And there i am again, getting myself a lot of bruises, cuts and scratches.. Once again, my heart ached.. And once again, i worried..
Some people said love is blind. But i feel that it's crazy.. And as a matter of fact, i'm insane.. It's not worth it.. But still...
The moment when i heard the words "I like you very much", I melted and i was overcome with joy.. I was so happy that i've finally gotten a space in the heart.. And when i heard the words "I thought of you", I got more happy.. I thought this was the beginning.. But when it turned out to be the ending, i cried..
The more i don't wanna tink of it, the more i dreamt of it.. I dreamt of the happy times. I dreamt of the love we once shared.. And when i woke up, i cant help but think of it all. The happiness, the smiles, the strong feelings we once had.. I couldn't take it anymore.. And i don't know why i went back.. But i know i'm hurt.. Badly..
I wan a shoulder to cry on.. But i held on to my tears.. Now i felt so suffocated. thought my brain will be cut off its supply of oxygen and i'll drift away like the wind..
I felt so lost. So horrible.. And i know i shouldn't be at this point in time.. But i cannot help it anymore.. I feel so dizzy..
And i fear what the fortune teller said will come true.. I fear.. That's why i wanna be there.. And i'm terribly sorry for acting that way.. But i don't even tink i'll be forgiven..
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 11:37 AM!
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
I'm really glad i've got good neighbours!!! Today is hari raya and although we are not Malays, we get to eat a lot of malay cuisine! I loved it! There's a lot of spicy food and ketupat(wrong spelling?) and pastries! Hehex.. I dunno their names but they sure tasted fabulous! But the problem is, there's a lot of left overs. So i guess i'll be eating the same things tomorrow. But nevertheless, they taste wonderful!
I've been studying the whole morning and afternoon. I did stop for a couple of kiddy shows and lunch=bath but most of the time, i'm tapered to my biology textbook. I can finally feel the hurry of it all.. So must keep studying now... I guess my brain's gonna overwork.. I even dreamt of flying with ghoss last night. It was kinda scary.. Hahax.. But still, it's kinda fun. So i didn't have a good night's rest last night. =[
People out there, let's jia you for our o levels!!! Study study study...
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 3:26 PM!
Friday, October 20, 2006
I really felt like i cannot breathe at all.. I felt so suffocated when i heard the news.. Yes.. I'm feeling horrible then.. I can't believe someone could hurt me that much. And for a split second, i wanted to end it all; to bring my crashing life to an end. It was agonising..
But i got better. Cuz wan qing and me go watch death note. The movie was awesome. It was really cool and the male leads were totally cool. They are not very handsome but they are damn smart.. The movie is really cool and i was totally drawn to it. And best of all, there's part 2!!! Cant wait to catch it again!
Today my chinese teacher marked my essay and gave me a lot of encouragement.. Make me wanna write more essays for him.. Hahax.. He's very dear.. And he doesn't give people pressure.. He just let us know he's gonna be there.. That's why i felt soft hearted.. Haix...
Thank you wan qing for the popcorn! OK.. CONFESSION TIME. I ate most of it though she bought it. Hahax.. I love caramel popcorn!!! Hahax.. Yummy.. We got go arcade play too. I WAS SUPPOSE TO WIN THE RACE. But wan qing beat me at the last minute.. Hahax. And we kept trying to catch that small kitty in the machine. BUT CANNOT! I loved that thing.. Hahax.. But it's so small.. I doubt can catch lorx.. Sob... The basketball game was cool! Hahax.. I felt so pro! But there's this guy, he's stunning man! As in the way he plays.. He broke the record and even set a new one which is way way higher than the original. Hahax.. He's so tall.. And lean. So i guess he's a basketballer? Hahax.. Cool~
I tink i'll feel much better in due time.. Time to enter the realm of light.. Muackies.. May my troubles evaporate..
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 8:18 PM!
Sunday, October 15, 2006
I feel grossed out at how some people put on a happy front while they cry behind.. May seemed like a very noble act but if one is upset, i really don't see the need to act as though everything around the world is so beautiful and happy. You may wanna call this positivity. But look at it this way, does the person have to act until he/she is very happy? It can be neutral right?
And i agree with L. My 2mths=her 2 years. Believe it or not. It came as a shock.. Yes.. A very big one in fact. And guess what's she trying to do to close the gap? She starts liking things that she used to dislike. A lot.. And even went to the extent of buying a magazine to get a poster? How miraculous! Why bother to change yourself to fit into other people's life? In the end, it's gonna end up wrong again.
And honestly, question yourself, does it even make sense to do all these? Perhaps you can forget so easily.. But not me. At least i still hold pride in what i'm doing. At least i never try to be one brand new person i'm not cut up to be. At least i let the person who loved me love me for who i am.. At least i'm me.
L made me realise so many things.. How mindless a person can be and how totally foolish i am.. I'm such a fool for loving you. I am.. Don't try to talk me out of it.. Cuz i don't see why i should not be a fool for doing that.. And yet i did that. Until now..
In case you are reading this, you wrote that openly in your blog and made it so obvious. Then you went around telling people it was not obvious at all.. Don't make my blood boil by having to tell you that IT'S DAMN OBVIOUS.
And perhaps i don't have to say in case you are readin this. I KNOW YOU ARE. Cause it's always a person's curiousity to make them do redundant things. And once again, i'm redundant. Thankx for lying to me that you are NOT taking any action when you clearly ARE. If not, please explain the jay chou poster you bought. And don't gimme the excuse that he's talented. You and i know that he is long ago. But both of us agreed that we disliked him. A person with true personality won't change that much in such a short time. oops.. I forgot. my 2 mths= to your 2 years.
And wrong can u be and how wrong can i get.. Oh god.. Jia min.. Wake up.. And last time, you still tag my board with such stuff?! I won't go down to that level. Hah. And wake up.. Please.. Cant see you do that to yourself anymore. But nevertheless, i can stop you. So be my guest. *be our guest~ Be our guest~ be of service to the guest~*
Anyway, after whatever L told me, i tink i should start forgiving a dear fren of mine.. Maybe she had never helped me when i'm down b4 but.. She's down and i won't do nothing to help her..
GAMBATTE~
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 6:54 PM!
Saturday, October 14, 2006
I feel so tired of my life sometimes.. Maybe i never know how to deal with the world.. But i'm learning now.. Learning with small painful steps.. Yet, i never felt that this was horrible.. Because i know i was better off than what i had in the past.
When i was secondary one, i went through an ordeal like what i'm experiencing now.. I had it worst since i was all alone, standing on my two little feet.. It felt so bad.. When there was practically no one there.. Now i'm fortunate.. At least i know i have someone there for me.. Perhaps a lot of "someones" there for me.. I no longer felt lonely...
I thought my world was crashing down.. But When i look around, i realised that if i can stand on my two feet, i'm never crippled.. I can still support my world.. I can still see.. I can still breathe.. That's enough to last me for a whole lifetime...
I'll never die without being a fashion designer first.. And i wanna live to learn the arts of fashion and enjoy my life living someone i wanna be.. How can i die when i have such great dreams? I have such a long life ahead.. Cheerx to my dreams...
I just finished watching princess hours on you tube. The ending was lame.. It turned out that she might be pregnant.. BUT they have never done "it" before.. GOD... This is so weird.. Hahax.. But it was sweet.. I still loved it when the female lead was the crown princess and Shin was still the crown prince.. But i totally agree when shin's sister was to have the throne. Hahax.. I love sappy korean dramas! *gurgle*
smile always as the sun will always shine down on me... Muackies..
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 12:34 PM!
Friday, October 13, 2006
The world is crashing down... Yet because of this, i felt i have found a true friend.. And i'm not gonna let this fren go after i cry.. I'll never leave my rays of hope behind.. Especially when they are so dear.. And loyal... It hurts me... I can't believe liying is doing all these for me.. I feel so touched.. It's like.. someone is there to catch me when i fall.. So i make sure i'll gonna catch her if she does fall.. Cuz she's too dear to me..
I feel bad from causing so much trouble.. Little did i know that all my "friends" will desert me when i'm down and people that are not that close to me caught me when i fall...
Sometimes i wonder... Must i act infront of all those ppl? I feel that the world is very fake.. It is one fake ball covered with liars... you never know when people will back sab u.. This is so tiring...
After dehydrating myself for 3 days in a row, i'm pretty numb.. I finally know who are my true frenx.. Hahax.. I just need some comfort... Sometimes...
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 7:17 PM!
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Yesterday was feeling pretty upset cuz felt a bit left out.. Plus, my mood not v good.. So cant really help it. Perhaps it's PMS? But i got better cuz i know i have good friends. Like Liying, jocelyn, seha and all.. I feel much better.. Also, solved a conflict with XM.. He's too nice! I was actually blowing up.. But actually is his mood not good so keep giving me the face lahx. Hahax.. But he's very nice de..
Today so hazey.. I think i'll die man.. Haix.. Feeling so dizzy le.. Sob..
Love princess hours so much! Muahahax.. I love it i love it! Hahax.. Obssessed le.
Today bought a lovely purple clip. So happy!
O levels coming. Jia you jia you jia you. Everyone must jia you oso!!!
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 9:13 PM!
Sunday, October 01, 2006
I don't even know what you treat me as. Trash? Shit? Or just plain o' nothing? It hurts to know that your promises are never fufilled and even if i can sense that are just lying through your teeth, i chose to believe what i hear or see.My senses tells me that all those are lies. But no matter how i try to make you tell the truth yourself, you would not budge. So let's just forget it. You can go be concerned bout everyone in the world except me but just don't expect me to help you anymore.
Yesterday was tiring. I was studying with Liying the whole afternoon.. When i got home, i got a terrible headache so i went to rest but it got worst.. Perhaps studying really kills brain cells.
Macdonald was FREEZING. It's ok if you stay there for sometime. But if you stay there for more than 2 hrs, you'll become an icicle. How i wished i had a jacket or jumper of my own. I don't even have a jacket of my own. It's usually my mum's or dad's.. But shan't waste money on such stuff.. I still got other things to buy..
It was so cold a fly stood "inactive" on my straw! We couldn't shake it off.. So gross..
I thought that yesterday was 1st of oct so i went for tuition.. But it turned out that today was first of october.. Haix.. So embarrassing.. And today have to go again! Gotta go prepare le!
*Cant sleep but i'm so tired.. Gosh.. How i hate my dreams..
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 8:05 AM!
