Saturday, September 30, 2006
Yesterday was SO frightening!!! I've been going to nite study these few days cuz i cant conc at home mahx.. Then i've learnt the technic of climbing up the monkey bar. As in sit on top of the monkey bar.. But i have trouble getting down so i always use a chair i've gotten from the neighbouring "deserted" school which is "connected" to CSS.. I didn't know it was somebody's property. Yesterday, while i was up there, the security guard caught me!!! He's from the "deserted" school! And he said it was his chair and stuff.. He kept asking for my class which i refused to give.. He even threatened to call in the principal and OM.. GOD.. He scared the shit out of me.. But after apologising for a long time and telling him hat i didn't know that was anyone's property and that the sch never mention that we are not allowed to use that part of the school, he just asked me to return the chair..
That's frightening.. Haix.. I wished i won't have another experience..
And i've been trying to jump up the wall these few days.. But i cant! Haix.. Keep getting bruises and scratches.. Haix.. Jia you bax.. Got tuition later.. Cheers!
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 8:52 AM!
Saturday, September 23, 2006
What do you do when things don't go the way you wanted them to?
a) cry
b) fight for it til you get what you want
c) deal with the loss and move on
Sometimes, things are so complicated.. Perhaps some people are just not meant to be frenx. So what if fate brought the 2 people together for a hi-bye session? They just don't click. Or perhaps they do appear to click at first then they don't click anymore.
Sometimes, no matter how much you do, it's never be comparable to what another someone is doing for the person. The someone may neglect the person. But even if you do concern and care for the person, it's never comparable. Perhaps that's what chemistry and fate is.
But for now, just want to concentrate on my studies and get into a good JC to prove my parents wrong and show them i can do it.. I never wanna be involved in such heart breakin scenes anymore.. Good gracious me..
Prelim results are not that good. But i'll work doubly hard for my o levels. That's y i'm franctically practising now..
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 11:06 AM!
Friday, September 15, 2006
God.. I'm fuming.. THAT GUY'S SICK! WTF. I've never been so angry for so long. You know what he did?! He keep touching me on the bus. I was like so pissed! He crossed his arms and keep touching me while pretending to be asleep. At first, i tot it was accidental. So i neared the window to keep his fingers away. Then i kept staring at his fingers. He knew i was watching, so he didn't do anything. So i pretended to look away so he'll do it again. And he did. This time, i was sure and shouted at him. He quickly withdrew his hand and placed it infront of him. And he did protest. That showed that he was guilty. When i alight, I shove my bag into his face to keep his away from him. And i even gave my bag a hard push so he'll be hurt by it. Serves him right. And of course, he deserved my glare. The bad thing was, people sat around and watch it happen. No one came to help. Forget it.. I knew it was not gonna happen. But that guy better learn from mistake. If not when i see him again, i'll punch him in the face.
Just now had an enjoyable time watching movie with seha, dina and frenx. Go watch monster house. The movie not really that good lahx. But some parts kinda nervous. I thought the shooting of the film was kinda bad? I was dizzy at some scenes. But overall, it was pretty good. Except there was a bunch of kids behind us who were discussing the movie and laughing real hard. The laughs can be tolerated. But talking? It's not even whispering. It's as though they are watching at home. So inconsiderate. I tolerated. But at the middle of the movie, i turned around and told them to keep quiet. What the hell.. Don't they know that they are not suppose to talk in the movies? First time in the movies mehx?
Anyway, there is a fren out there who has high fever todae.. Get well soon. Although i jolly well know that my wishes are least appreciated.
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 3:57 PM!
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Ever had the kind of feeling when you are so upset you cant even breathe? There is like a pressure on your chest and it's v disturbing. Felt it just now.. Thought i was going to die...
I still remembered the happy days when u told me i was the special one in your heart.. That kept me going.. I thought i was special to you.. I thought i was treasured.. I thought.. But perhaps it's all my thoughts that led me to devastation when my heart was broken time and again. I cried.. And cried.. I thought my tears could fill a well.. After some time, i told myself i must not cry anymore.. And ended up crying in my heart..
Haix..
I wanna jia you.. I wanna get into a jc.. I must.. I don't wanna be looked down on..
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 7:26 PM!
Saturday, September 09, 2006
I never knew that when i care, i'll be hurt with words like i don't understand. I felt redundant. I never wanted to show that i understood. I'm just concerned. And even if i donb't understand you, you can explain to me but just don't shoot me with such a word. It hurts. It felt as though i've done a million bad things and i deserve such a punishment for caring about you. I'm sorry. I can no longer contain myself. I felt hurt and lost.
How many more days do i have to continue to hurt? I know you are drifting away. And so am i. But i hate to let go for i never want to lose you. But it seems as though you want to get rid of me very much. Because i meant nothing to you.
I believed a stray dog meant more to you.
Have been studying for so long.. So tired of studying. Everytime i stare into a book, i feel so sleeeepy.. And i felt so bothered by some things. Guess i need to get a breather and a life. Time to move on.
BTW, Happy belated bday LYOE!!! (yesterday was his birthday)
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 5:11 PM!
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Was having high fever the past 2 days.. 39 degree celcius. Making me have a terrible case of headache. My muscles were aching all over.. Felt so damn dizzy sia.. First day take medicine le de ok le. But still got headache. Nxt day woke up 39.2 dgree celcius. So Xin Ku!!! And i have to keep sleeping.. That's terrible..
But of course, i'm feeling better now!
Anyway, my eng results not good so my mum sent me for tuition. It's on a monday night. Got 8 more sessions left. Anyway, my classmates all very nice to me. Got one even offer me sweets and told me to treat the class as a big family. The class is very cheerful and all.. I enjoyed learning there..
I felt that i no longer meant anything to you.. The way you spoke to me was so different and unlike before.. It was as though i was a burden and you can do without me..
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 4:16 PM!
Monday, September 04, 2006
These few days so stressful.. I am suppose to go back to malaysia to relax and all but before we set off, my dad saw my results and he is very unhappy bout it. Guess he dunno how to count the L1R5. Fail 2 subject doesn't mean u gotta count them into your L1R5. And it's not gonna affect. And because of this, my dad is giving the family a bad face. Cuz he has no more "face" le. WTH. One day, even when i succeed, i'll never give him the honour. I'll pay him back whatever he had given me. But i'll keep my honour. And don't he ever start boasting when i get whatever I want. I hate to become an issue of boasting... Last time when my sis got into ITE, he gave that face too. And never treated her good since that day, always being sarcastic to her.
When ever the family is around and there is no one else, he'll give that stupid look. But when my cousins are there, he'll be all smiles. What's with the fake front?! Show it out lahx. Worst still, he didn't tell me about it! So he expects me to play the stupid guessing game?! COME ON. And my mum got mad at him as a result.
Somehow, i didn't sense his anger til my mum told me. We sill went climbing bukit gombak and eating chendol. Just that i hated the shopping part bacause he never let me buy ANYTHING. And the worst thing was there are so many nice things there!
Enough of my dad.. Making my blood boil. I thought dads are suppose to give moral encouragement, not demoralise their kids when they don't do well. Trust me. Next time when i grow up, i'll take care of my mum more. Even if she hits me and stuff when i'm naughty, at least she cares for me. When i cant do well, she won't gimme that blackened face or whatsoever. She'll ask me to go for tuition and things like that. Also, i can communicate with her. And better still, she had never boasted bout me before. She'll only tell people who asked bout my achievements and not trying to compare me with my cousins like my dad. That is most irritaing. If he really like my cousins that much, might as well make them his daughters and let them care for him when he has aged. And i'm never gonna tok to him again during the holidays. Trust me. It's gonna be ez.
Anyway, it was coincidental that we went back and was invited to a 1 mth baby celebration. The baby kinda cute and got lotsa hair. Then i met this girl who is suppose to be my auntie but she's the same age as my elder cousin. She use to give piano lessons but now quit le cuz she's going overseas to study. She very cheerful and nice which is a relief.. hah.
There is one experience i must share here. That is the eating of the sugar cane. In singapore, we all drink sugar cane juice but have you all ever chewed on a sugar cane before and suck the juice? The experience is nice! And the best part is it helps to keep the teeth healthy. My teeth bled while i was chewing. But no pain was felt. It was like the blood which flowed bout when we brush our teeth.. =]
Anyway, must go jia you le.. Haix.. Don't wanna be nagged at anymore.. Muackies.
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 8:57 AM!
Friday, September 01, 2006
Perhaps i'm at a stage where I am still growing up emotionally.. I know what i'm doing is wrong but somehow, my wilful side is hard to control. I guess only my family is nice enough to tolerate me bax.. They see me not happy they'll cheer me up de.. Even if it's like letting me hav my pick of dishes for dinner.
Suppose to go back today but my cousin got tuition so have to postpone.. I'm kinda upset bout it.. Cuz i pack everything le.. Also, something frustrating keep happening to me.. I don't even know what i wan.. Haix.. But i'm feeling better le..
I guess i just have to throw everything to the back of my mind and move on... Study bax, Jia min...
I believe that when one lose smth, he/she will gain smth.. But somehow i kept losing.. Haix...
Okiex.. gotta slp early so can wake up early tml.. Muackies!!!
JiaMin GROwLEd @ 9:43 PM!
