Today went to study at Spinelli~ It's a heeren.. I was drinking the Apple smoothie. It's pretty nice.. It tasted like yoghurt and stuff.

I went there with C cuz i was suppose to study with her then she got project meeting. So I study there lor. Anyway, i got a lovely surprise! I saw Shi Pei and LiYing there! Hahax.. So coincidental~!

I met C's group members. They're cool people~! Hehex..

Stephanie and nice! She's friendly. This is the second time i've met her but it's the first time she talks to me. I'm relieve she's nice to talk to.. Hahax.

I feel pity for Michelle though.. Cuz she's from china and she dunno a lot of stuff and the group like dun include her from most of the discussion...

The guys are ok. Just that one very da nan ren zhu yi.. He wan means he wan.. Give no room for discussion.

Another one like to joke a lot. But when discussing, then kinda quiet. But they're basically nice ppl who like to joke and play around~! Yay!

I used veet hair removal cream! Ok.. So it's a bit lame.. and the thing does not have much effect de.. Still got some hair left! But the hair on my knee is removed. Yay~! And it feels much smoother. Hahax.

C's hammy got hair le!!! The baby hammies are growing! Cant wait to see em! Cinnamon is such a good mommy~! Muackies.

And the pile of homework issued in a week is breaking my back.. Don't think i can handle that much.. Haix. Must Jia You le!!!

Feeling kinda hurt this week.. Somethings hurting but no one wants to discuss it.. This is so uncomfortable.. Haix.. I just wan someone to tok to..

Sometimes i feel so upset.. In a few seconds, i wished i can break out in tears.. Sometimes, i wished i can fly away or even go to a place where i can find happiness..

Some brought me happiness.. But grief as well.. I feel excluded.. But what can i say or do? Beg to be accepted? Or beg to be forgiven when i had done nothing? I feel horrible..

There were happy moments of course.. But the sad ones make me shudder.. I never wanna experience that that again.. Never.. But i'm defenceless...

What should i do..?

Earth, open up and swallow me..

That monthly womanly thingy is killing me!!! Oh dear... And it has been the same for so long.. Just that my tolerance for it is decreasing. So i went to get panadol!! The pink one! It looks so hot~! The colour made it look like some kind of candy. But unfortunately, it did not really work on me. I feel better for a while but when i start walking, the bothering pain came back!

I went to watch "pirates of the carribean" yesterday.. GOD.. It was such a let down. The first episode was better. This is like CRAP. No ending and all..

Some parts are funny though.. But some are boring. I hate the part when the sea monster came. It was so BORING! All the actions are the same! First, it'll stick it's tentacles into the ship and break it into half. And that's the end of it. But this simple idea was so fully illustrated! And i fidn it rather boring to watch the same attacks.

But i love the part when Captain Jack Sparrow and his crew are on the island. THAT was hilarious.

I love the part about the weird captain too..I think he's a very sad man. Kinda pity him.. And his heart.. All that for a woman.. So not worth it.. But it showed his devotion.

I HATE THE ENDING! FULLSTOP.

Anyway, i bought the tote bag! So ex.. But i love it.. So must protect it and make sure it lasts!!! This is my first GOLD tote. Yay~!

Today went to Far East to shop. Must thank C for her perseverance.. I tink i almost broke her leg while shopping for a pair of shoes. She was complaining i was too tall and i should not get anything wth heels. Anyway, i got smth without any heels. And it is pearl white! Love it~! And the best thing is that it goes well oth the new tote bag i just bought. Heex. Cuz they go similiar patterns!

I realise i don't go well with gold shoes.. I look as though i'm not wearing anything at all. Hahax.. So no gold for me!

Then just now was acting like a saleman of the shop. C wanna go get slippers. The problem is, the shop consist of 2 small shops opposite each other. *start picturing* Then there's a lot of slippers hanging on the wall.. Only one side of the shop has sofa for you to sit. So C went to that side cuz she have to sit down to undo her converse shoes and all. Then like no one wanna serve us mahx. (oso dunno why) So i became the sales girl, bring the shoe from one side to C who is happily sitting there for me to serve her. +_+

SO PAI SEH!

I was walking here and there and you noe C is so fickle minded! She just cant make up her mind! I ended up feeling so embarrassed.. I kept asking for help and all.. And i'm the one who's asking. Then i don't wanna bother the others further so i went to find the slippers myself.

Luckily, that queen was satisfied at last.. *kick her* muahahax.

Sho tired.. Slept on the MRT.. hehex. Sis wanna use comp le. Gtg. Buaix...

I have this weird thingy happening to be. My pimples stopped coming to my face. They start growing on my thighs and tummy. WEIRD~ o_0

I feel a hint of sadness.. And i can't shake it away..

I once heard a lot of theories bout how you must love yourself before people can love you.. Perhaps i didn't love myself that much and allowed myself to be abused..

I always thought by giving in or by making people make promises, things said will be treated seriously and not forgotten. I'm wrong.. It will only lead to more abuse and the person will start taking you for granted..

Yes, i'm hurt for tons of times and i still wonder why am i going back to that hole..

My sadness is oozing out of me every time i'm listening to songs or when i'm alone.. It's like my sadness is flowing out.. But there don't seem to be any ending. It's like you are wrapped in this big bubbly jelly and you're trying to get out.. But the jelly just stick on to you and followed you every step, leaving you no way out... That's my sadness...

I no longer feel wanted nor loved.. not even 0.00000001% of love.. I feel so damn cheated...

I have this very bad habit.. When people say they wanna work something out with me, i'll end up being the one who's trying very hard when the thing was suggested by others..

Is this naive or just plain stupid?

I'm tired of trying ALONE.. I finally know how it is to fight a war on your own.. Haix.. I feel defeated.. My feelings are hanging loosely on a thread.. I'm always the "substitute", never the " one and only"...

I may look happy but i feel very moody as well.. It's not PMS or anything but just my feelings.. The feelings of beng betrayed and lied to into believing you are the "one and only". But in the end, you end up being the trash in the rubbish bin and cant even be compared to the others. Be it Godsis of frenx or just classmates that are known for hardly a month.

I once imagined that my handphone is spoilt so it cannot receive msg.. But after awhile, reality knocked me in the face..

Felt sick this morning.. I was having diarrhoea and really felt like vomitting.. Though i egested everything, my tummy still feel kinda pain so my mum told me to stay at home to rest.

But of course, i didn't waste my day at home. I studied! For my Chemistry mock exam. I'm not that free, ok? Picture people accusing you, saying you are free so must do all the project works. Come on! Who don't feel sick sometimes? It's not an excuse to push the GROUP works to me, right? Plus, I didn the last group work write up myself and guess wad? The next day, i have a test. Yet i can still find time. Don't assume that i'm that free!!!

Anyway, i really ought to plan my time.. I did tons of mind maps though and i think they are going to be useful~! YAY~!

Anyway, i'm still deciding whether i should get the spagetti strap top i saw at "this fashion" that day.. It's gorgeous!!! And VERY princessy~ But i haven't see the price yet.. Hmmm... Must learn to be decisive!!! ARGH!

I'm gonna watch "pirates of carribean"!!! I dont care... And my shoe had finally worn out!!! So i can get a new pair. But unfortunately, the shoe that has worn out is actually very comfortable and i love it tons.. So a bit heart ache..

Must go gambatte le! Muackies.. Homework, here i come~

I realise things that are feared usually stopped many from going out far.. Many know they must venture out of their comfort zones but little are willing to..

I am not a bad swimming. Neither can i say i am a good one, of course. But at least i can swim without touching the floor of the pool. However, i have this fear that kept me away from the deeper waters..

When i was younger, i was swimming in a deep area when i suddenly felt very tired and exhausted.. I wanted to rest, to stand up, but unfortunately, my feet cannot touch the ground. I was horror stricken. After a few seconds of struggling, i forced myself to swim all the way back to the shallow areas. Since then, i have fear for deep pools. The furtest i can go is the 1.4m area..

Yesterday, i went swimming again.. I saw the bottom of the pool.. The middle of the pool is so deep.. It freaked me out. My father encouraged me to get into the deeper waters but fear got the better of me.. I guess i must slowly work my way out to defeat my fear.

Wonder why i'm not posting as much as before? Because my exams are near.. Gotta study~! Muackies.

You know todae i'm really glad.. Cuz u waited for me.. I really feel glad.. Though i do feel left out at times..

I think i'm eating too much but i'm still gonna finish my terriyaki chicken!!! Gonna work hard le!!! Study study!!! And of course, watch "Dead Man's Chest".. Hehex.. I love E first movie!!! I's called "the curse of the black pearl".. Hehex..

And i wanna go play pool.. Yay...

But first.. Gotta studdy!

An old man saw his emotionally unstabled granddaughter trying to put a jar of strawberry jam into the fridge.. But his grand daughter cannot do so as the fridge was full. Reaching out, he pulled out a bottle of mayonaise and settled it on the table before taking the jar of jam from her grand daughter and putting it at the place where the mayonaise was once placed.

He told her grand daughter: the heart is like the fridge. If you do not take things out, you can't put new things in.. He grand daughter stayed thoughtful.

Actually, ppl can see things from diff views. For example and a rotten apple. Maybe from your view, the apple has worms in it. But a person standing opposite from you may not have the same view. He may see the apple as a good one. And perhaps if you turn that apple, you can see the good side too.

Some things we see are just not wad they are.

So if the person start argueing with you, turn the apple around for him to see. And the person better believe it.

I believe a good fren will alwaes try to advise their frenx in a positive wae. Sometimes it's hard to stay positive but if you try, nothing is impossible. Frenx who encourages you to do bad things are no good frenx.

Happiness cannot be measured by company. It can only be measured when you are alone.

Good friends don't exclude you at concerts or outings. Good frenx dun hang up E call without waiting for you to sae good bye. Good frenx make you feel wanted and loved. Good frenx wun doubt you and will understand when you explained.

Feel kinda dumb.. Reviewing all i've done, i don't even tink i've done right. So i shan't do anymore.

Go on, i don't care.

Anywae, todae was kinda cool~ I went to SIM for E first time.. Hehex. E Sch kinda cool!

Some ppl never come sch todae.. Must be E world cup match las nite.. Hahax.. Kinda expected..

It feels good to be wanted for a change. Kinda happy. Maybe like crap around lahx. But still.. It isn't as bad as i thought it would be..

i'm happy.. Muackies..

Todae went swimming wif my family.. So tired!! And it rained when we were there. So unlucky.. But all was fun and tiring.. I tink must start building up stamina le.. I only swam for awhile and I'm already panting very hard. I don't like the lazy river.. It's too shallow to swim in without having E fear of knocking onto the floor. Plus, E cave a bit scary and it's hard to swim when there's water hitting down hard on your head.. So i prefered E adult pool!

But E adult pool a lot of ppl at the 1.4m to 1.2m area.. I not very pro at swimming so i don't dare to wander out too far into the water. So kinda crowded lor. Luckily, at bout 11-12, E place not tha crowded le so i can swim to and fro. And that really tired me out.

After that went to eat Mos Burger. I love it
! Then really order a lot of things. Like terriyaki chicken, and butterfly prwn. Yummy.. And my afve milk tea! Love it.. Then i really eat a lot. I think i gain more weight than i lose.. Sobx.

I wished nothing will change.. You're alwaes my close frenz.

Have a great dae todae! Met Sihui and Tai koon at IMM Just now.. Go watch SYF groups perform at IMM.. Cool~!

Got go eat long john's!! My fave! Saw sihui studying while i eat. So motivated to study! Thankx!

Kinda happy.. Cuz E band didn't screw up big time. Hehex. I love E dances and songs.. When i watching they all perform, i feel warmth vibrating from my heart.. I'm so touched they sounded good.. Hehex..

It's apity i dun really noe how to appreciate orchestra music.. I cuz dun like those chinese cymbals and stuff.. The bamboo flute still ok.. But i dun like trad. chinese music.. I prefered english ones.So i left..

Then me and cindy go play pool at K pool. We got a draw. 2:2. Yay! I aim to be better than her. I wanna learn how to shoot at angles!!! Must ask my teacher, hakim to teach me le.. Canot learn from opponent mahx. Hehe..

Forgot to mention i bought a choc shaped correction tape. Heex. It's awesome!!!

Do i realy look very haggard in brown? But i like that colour! Fine.. Haix.. Some things not yours mian qiang le oso noth de.. Yeap.. Cheerx.

munching on tomato flavoured twisties now.. Learning to forget and live on.. Never wanna feel the heart ache again.. For i shouldn't even be having a heart ache now.. But when i see things i dun wanna see, i cant help getting a mixed up feeling.. I dunno..

I dunno.. I believe some things are just not meant to be.. If the thing is yours, u'll get it.. If it's not, even if u fight hard for it, you wun get it.. That's fate for u..

I feel unwanted at times.. It's when u tot someone's gonna care bout u but just dun.. Instead, went to care for someone else. That feeling's awful.. Sometimes i just wan some attention from some ppl but.. Haix. Maybe i dun even hold a place in your good frenz list.. Who knows? Afterall, i noe i've done tons of things for you and i felt like i'm treated like shit. Thankx.

Just now went to sax sectionals. Pretty fun but i really hope E playing will be much better.. I wan them all to graduate without any regrets of not playing well.. Trust me. The feeling's not good. So gambatte, k?

Todae's the 7th of july.. Yay~! Rafiq's bdae.. Happy bdae, dear! Heehx. Dun care bout counsellors that much k? Hahax.. U've matured.. Heehx.

Go to http://www.brl.ntt.co.jp/people/hara/fly.swf!!! It's a cool and unusual jigsaw!!! You see wad i mean.. Hehx.. I tried it just now. Too bored.

Really wanna go swimming... haix..

Just now was playing this lame game in class.. Not suppose to sae "you, me/i, he/she". hehex. Very fun.. Get to hit a lot of ppl and get hit a lot of times.. Ouch.. Then play concentration game which didn't last for very long.. Hahax. But it was fun anywae. I love it. A bit rough but i'm not a gentle woman afterall, am i?

Gtg jogging soon. Muackies.

I'm so happy I'm so glad that it's thursday~ Tomorrow's friday, and we release early~ (mercy choc song)

YAY~!

I survived another week le!!! Sho happy~! Realised that actually one week kinda easy to pass lehx..

Must learn to be happy le.. Cant be moody forever rite?

I realise no one really considers my feelings much so i tend to get hurt alot when i'm moody.. Only when i'm cheerful can i reflect all the arrows shot at me in a dae. I've been seriously wounded in just 2 daes. Believe it or not. But i'm sure i'll be happier now!

Quoting sihui *Jiamin's a happy girl*

*giggles*

Must start exercising liaox.. My fats are showing!!!

GOD!!!

My mum is like making peanut root soup now and then.. It's kinda good cuz will help you grow TALL. But i doubt i'll ever grow tall le.. It like.. I ate so much during the holidaes then i only increase height by 0.2 cm.. Haix.. Wad's E point?! 0.2 cm is not even counted.. Sobx..

But nvm, i love drinking it anywae.. Heehx. I really am a glutton. Not hard to tell rite? Heeh...

Go study le!!! Muackies..

Was going home just now. Listening to my "bf's" song "love story" (by fan yi chen) then suddenly thought of how unhappy i was.. (How i wished he's my bf.. But dun wanna be third party ar.. heard he married le) I dun tink i even have the right to be unhappy or anything.. I am suppose to be happy, rite? But i cant help it that i'm unhappy AGAIN. When can i ever be happy..?

It feels kinda good..

Not studying at coffee bean..

But having different roles for a change.

In school, i am the entertainer, the monster..

Yea.. It sure is fun playing around and like everybody i know is like playing along.

But sometimes i need to be entertained too and loved.. Not laughed at all the time..

Just now meet cindy, hakim and jojo go "study" mahx.. Then it's like i dun have to sae anithing lor.. And they were like fooling around.. I just watch and laugh.

The best part is, i felt i've known them for ages though it is obvious i dun know em that well. They dun out cast ppl. They just create laughter. May be pure silliness but it's blissful to me..

For once, i am entertained..

Not that i dun like joking wif ppl.. But i need my quiet and caring moments too..

Esp wen i feeling kinda down lately.. No body can really tell rite? Cuz i'm alwaes smiling.. I dun like to frown.. Yea.. I like looking serious at times.. But frown? It's a no no for me..

I wanna feel HAPPIER!!! Sho.. Ppl out there reading this, pls show that you care or i tink i'll just shrivel and die.. It's sucking my blood dry to the very last drop (quoting ms ridz)

MUACKX!

Todae so tiring.. Actually wanted to go je library study but.. Didn't go in E end..

I'm kinda looking forward to the opening of the swimming pool near jurong west st91.. It's suppose to open at june but something cropped up.. So it should be open before october? Anywae, i'm looking forward to spending every sundae swimming in the refreshing water!! Yay!

So tired.. Think must faster go do hmwk den go slp le..

Btw, i realised that my tolerance level very high. Little ppl can act tolerate E crap some ppl give me.. Hehx..

Okay! Gtg cheerx!

Forgot to menton about a movie a watched at chanel 5 last nite.. It's very inspiring.. More inspiring than the "rockY movie everyone watched during E Adam Khoo session..

It's about this pretty blonde called Elle who's E home coming queen and she have this bf. She tot her bf gona propose to her but she got dumbed in E end cuz E bf studies in Harford(wrong spelling) and is taking up E subject "law". He says his parents' expectations of him is very high and he must marry some one who is more decent. Elle is in this school which studies fashion and stuff and she is the president of E clud "sisters". In order to pursuit her bf, she studies hard and went to harford. There she found out her bf was engaged wif a girl who is very smart and tat girl is very mean to her. But she alwaes retort and make the mean girl look very dumb( wae to go!). When she heard of the news, she went to have a manicure and that's when she met a woman(a manicurist) who is also dumbed by her bf.. They became good frenx and she helped the woman have more confidence and stuff.

Aiya.. Story very long.. But the main point is, she became a lawyer and is more outstanding than her teacher. And she slam her ex bf bac with his words cuz he tried to win her heart back after she is successful. She end up wif a more gorgoeus guy.. Muahaha..

Act, this movie makes me very strong.. It kinda showed how ppl succeed although they met up wif many misgivings. Cuz it's kinda impossible for this blonde to make such a big change.. Whe i find out bout E movie name, i'll tell you all!!! Must go watch! It's really entertaining and it'll really make you have more confidence and stuff.. Cheerx.

Ever wonder why babies and toddlers are always so happy?

Because they are imaginative!

Ever tried imagining that you are someone else? It works for me.. =]

When i imagine i am a clerk, I work beter. I tend to coordinate very fast. I've always liked to be a clerk or a teacher.. Ppl who will coordinate well and excel in things they do. This way, i can finish my hmwk with determination.

When i'm bathing, or relaxing, i'll imagine i'm a princess. Because princesses then to take exra caution in "pampering" themselves. They must have delicate skin so they'll take special care when they are bathing of relaxing by doing a manicure.. I love being a princess!!!

It's always good to imagine sometimes.. I don't like people saying that we MUST live in reality ALL THE TIME. If that's the case, life is gonna be so BORING. So.. IMAGINE WHILE YOU ALL CAN because i realise a person's imaginative level fall as they grow older...

Think i must start planning and working hard from now on!!!

Yesterday, i bought mascara.. First time use but didn't look too bad.. Luckily..

Todae bought a necklace/belt.. When used as a necklace, it looks very glam, very princessy. But when used as a belt, it looks... Funky~ So kinda cool lorx.. Can use as both.. Buy one get two.

Cheerx~

I'm speechless with agony..

treated shabbily..

nothing to do!!!
Originally uploaded by jas_90sg.

I have every right to be upset, ok?! Cause these are my feelings and I AM NOT HIDING THEM.

I've been feeling down lately, ok? My sch is like stressing me all the time! This is very very frustrating.. So of course i need a little play time and pleasure at home to relax right? But guess wad? All i wanted to do was to paint MY room and my mum forbade it? And the excuse she gave was that my L1R5 already very low le, then still wanna play around.

COME ON LOR.

Gimme a break.

Totally don't wanna tok to her le. Yes, i must study. But not 24 hrs a day, rite?! And it's not like the teachers is school are not stretching me. Wad is this nonsense thinking that i am not working hard at all? I just wan to paint and i'll have it MY wae since I am the one who is staying in that room! I am so gonna get the brushes out tml and lock the door. Starve me, scare me or wadever, i'm getting it done. Cuz it's MY room.

After o level's, the paint wld have dried up. Plus, it's gonna take bout 5 hrs to finish that room. 5 hrs! And there is no need to buy more paint. FORGET IT. I'm doing it tml. Fullstop.

Btw, just wanna wish cheryl a happy bdae~

I'm DreAmINg A FaSHioNiSt DreaM ANd An ACCounTanT DreaM~!
LiVE LiFe TO thE FuLLeST~


SCHool
Leavin' CSS JJC
BirthDAE
10 NOV
LuRVESsS
flowers like tulips,roses and ester lilies
the beach!
Japanese food & seafood
watch CARTOONS
adventure!!
listen and watch people play the piano

[[WiShLiSt]]
a digital camera
a laptop
have a slpover at fren's house
a prom dress of my dreams~
a unique earphone (must be designed)
a handphone
LOTS AND LOTS OF SALMON SASHIMI WITH WASABI AND SOY SAUCE
an ADIDAS jacket
for people to love me for who i am and not what they want me to be
listen and watch people play E piano for me on my bdae.. Smth classical or slow jazz?

HatEsS
feeling sick
feeling pressured
COCKROACHES
a meaningless life
being lied to







DaVe.a.k.a CiNdY
Dina
DoRis
JeNmEy
JunHong
Kelvin
LeeLing
LiWee
LiXuan
LiYing
MaHmUdAh
SaRaH dA jIe
TingTing
WanQing
YiNgLi
YouJing
ZiYiNg
SaXoPhOnE bLoG
Love Hina: Sim Date RPG

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; October 2013

Layout: BENIHIME
Pictures: DEATH NOTE OFFICIAL SITE
Textures: SAWYOUCRY
Brushes: MISSM